Now, at this point of my journey I was about halfway through and I had began to realize that my list kinda…sucked. I had started it because my movie watching going into the summer was off. I had not been watching as many movies as I normally would. Hence, this project. But about July I started realizing that there was a reason I hadn’t seen most of these movies….because they sucked. But remember, this is 100 Movies I’ve Never Seen Before, NOT 100 Movies I Wanted to See but Haven’t.
41. The Road- 2009: This is a great flick, although it’s going to fall into two groups of debate, love it or hate it. It’s pretty bleak, but then again, it’s about a father and son looking for safety after some sort of disaster triggered the apocalypse. Viggo Mortensen (Lord of the Rings) is the father and Kodi Smit-McPhee (Let Me In) is the boy; together they trudge across the desolate land with the motto of trust no one but each other. It’s kind of sad and depressing. Also there are cannibals. 7/10
42. Gran Torino- 2008: Damn, can’t Clint Eastwood make a movie that isn’t depressing as hell? Here he is good old Clint, billy bad ass of the neighborhood. He’s an old fucker. A racist prick. A loner. A rebel. He befriends a Korean family, against his own better judgment, after saving one of the kids from several beat downs. Things get violent in the hood and Clint gets pissed when the local gang gets personal with his new friends. 8/10
43. Book of Eli- 2010: Okay, between this and The Road, I think we’ve covered the bases on end of society apocalyptic movies. This one has Denzel Washington as a bad mofo on a journey to deliver something….I won’t tell you what cuz it’s part of the mystery of the movie– and is one of those things where, if you buy the message, you might like the movie. Gary Oldman is the villain here and is as good as he usually is. Mila Kunis has proven to be the best thing to come out of That 70’s Show. She kicks all kinds of ass and she looks fucking hot doing it. Okay flick, some good action, but feels kinda long. 7/10
44. The Proposal- 2009: I’d like to make a proposal and I hope the ladies are with me on this one. Isn’t it time that the entire genre of the romantic comedy is completely re-invented. I know this movie did well at the box office but give me a fucking break. First of all, don’t let Sandra Bullock’s Academy Award fool you. I think anyone that would have been in The Blind Side would have been nominated and probably won. Second, I know Ryan Reynold is cool and funny and the girls like his abs but does anyone really believe them as a couple? She’s his boss and is getting deported to Canada. She’s a total bitch. They fight. He hates her. But he spends a couple of days with her and they fall in love and end up together. Why? Because it’s in the lame-ass script. Otherwise, it makes no sense at all that these two people would end up together. Shit like this doesn’t happen. Fail. 4/10
45. Inception- 2010: Christopher Nolan is the man. This movie gets better each time I watch it, which is why it’s on my Best Movies of 2010 list and was most recently named Best Movie of the Year by my kin. Shame on the Academy for not giving Nolan a nomination for best director. I don’t wan to explain this movie too much for those of you that haven’t seen it. It’s about dreams and our sub-conscious all kinds of weird trippy dreamy shit happens. It’s a movie you have to see a few times and you actually have to pay attention and think while you watch it. If you can’t watch a movie and think at the same time, I think Martin Lawrence made another Big Momma movie…good luck with that. 9/10
46. The Invention of Lying- 2009: I like Ricky Gervais. But is it just me or is he one of the biggest assholes on the face of the planet? Yeah he’s funny but it’s funny in the way the fat kid who has no friends is funny because he doesn’t care if he offends anyone– because he has no friends to begin with. Here he plays a fat pig nosed loser in a world where nobody lies or skews the truth. Everyone says it like it is. No sarcasm. No joking. Straight faced and honest. Until one day pig nose fat boy tells a little white lie and learns there is so much to gain by filling everyone full of shit. Funny flick and has the beautiful Jennifer Garner and the always funny Robe Lowe. 7/10
47. Observe and Report- 2009: I like Seth Rogan, too. Seriously. Sometimes though he is just a one note comic actor. He just bellows his lines as if more volume means more funny. It doesn’t. This movie isn’t his fault. It’s an unfunny mall cop version of Bad Santa, without the funny and Santa and Christmas themes. Rogan plays a loser mall security guard who is out to impress the mall slut played by Anna Farris, and at the same time stop a flasher who is terrorizing shoppers. I’m not going to waste my time writing more on this one. 6/10
48. Coraline- 2009: This one was truly a find. I recorded it thinking it would be a cute little animated girlie movie for daughter. She likes creepy looking dolls and shit, so I thought it’d be right up her alley. I was right about one thing and wrong about another. Cute and girlie its not. Morbid, dark and actually kinda scary is more like it. I liked this quite a bit because it is dark and kind of fucked up a little bit. 7/10
49. Surfer, Dude- 2008: Yeah, I didn’t expect much from this. Matthew McConaughey plays a stoner surfer and no it’s not based on his real life. He’s a groovy stoner legend who refuses to get on board with all the virtual reality surfer gaming that take all the philosophical zen crap out of the life of a surfer. So he sets out to find himself amidst a wave drought at his favorite beach. This movie kind of fucking sucks but can someone explain why I’ve seen it three fucking times?? 5/10
50. Pride and Glory- 2008: This movie stars Edward Norton and Colin Ferrell and is still a boring piece of shit. It’s a cop movie about corrupt cops and cop families and brothers who aren’t brothers by blood, but brothers by blood- there is betrayal and lies and cover ups and– oh, wait, you’ve seen this movie 5oo other fucking times, too? Okay, then I’ll stop. 5/10
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