Category Archives: Movies

‘Entry Level’ (2007) — movie review

Who’s in it?: D.B. Sweeney (The Cutting Edge, Fire in the Sky), Missi Pyle (Big Fish, 50 First Dates), Kurtwood Smith (That 70’s Show, Robocop)

This is another one of those movies where I was scanning the program guide and came across this movie and thought, ‘I’ve never fucking heard of this movie…but hey it has D.B. Sweeney AND I haven’t seen it so–‘… I watched it and it honestly didn’t leave much of an impression, so that can’t be good.

D.B. Sweeney stars as a guy who owns a restaurant but it gets closed and he has to hit the job trail but he’s really not motivated.  He starts going on interviews where he learns the same people are looking for the same jobs and it really doesn’t matter because jobs fucking suck and he’s going to be miserable doing any fucking job.

I will be honest, this movie might suck.  It’s really not that bad, it’s just not that great either.  It’s an independent movie and not the good kind, where you think- hey, all movies should be made like this- It’s more the kind where there are all kinds of weird characters and everyone has a chance to act quirky because that’s what independent movies are filled with, right?  It’s slow moving and kind of tedious and really just not worth saying anything else about it…zzzzzzzzz.

5/10

Would I recommend this movie?: Meh.  Probably not.  I mean if you like indy movies where there is a lesson to be learned but it’s really not that interesting–then fine but you’d have to be pretty bored to watch this movie.

‘Bangkok Dangerous’ (2008) movie review

Who’s in it?: Nicolas Cage (Raising Arizona, Face/Off)

Jesus Christ, Nic Cage, do you even read the God damn scripts for the movies you do any more?  I know you’ve had some financial issues lately but shit, really?  This movie was fucking terrible.

We get it, you like to play hit men and wear bad hair wigs and act conflicted.  But just because someone says there is a script with no one attached to star, don’t you think that’s because no one in their right fucking mind wants anything to do with it?

So in Bangkok Dangerous, Nic Cage is a hit man with you guessed it…a bad hair piece. He plays Joe.  Joe has rules (don’t all assassins for hire?).  He works alone, until he gets a protege- and he falls in love…awww.  Can someone please tell me how come these fucking movies always start with the protagonist talking about having rules and those rules can’t be broken then the asshole does nothing but break his own fucking rules for 2 hours.  Hey dick head, if you had followed your own rules you would have done your job and lived.  Sure your character would have continued being a fuck up but-

Wait, now that I’m putting some actual thought into this- and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who put any thought into this movie- there was not one God damn original or redeeming quality about this fucker.  Fuck this movie…

…and Nic Cage, let me tell you something.  I named my kid after you.  You better get your fucking act together.  Remember Raising Arizona and Leaving Las Vegas and The Rock and you know, the days when you used to make good movies?  Why don’t we try getting back to that.  Read the script.  If you like it, don’t do it.  Do you even have an agent?  Can your agent read?  Dammit, Nic Cage….DAMMIT.

By the way, this is another remake.

2/10

Would I recommend this movie?: Did you even read this blog.  No.  I wouldn’t recommend this piece of crap.

‘Twilight Saga: Eclipse’ continues down the downward spiral — movie review

How these movies have become as popular as they are is completely beyond me. Of course, I’m not exactly in the target demographic. I’ve never read a “Twilight” book and now after having sat through the first three movies, I never will read one of them but that’s okay. In this day and age of remakes, reboots and movies being adapted from games, books and just about everything else, it’s good to separate the movies from their source material.

Continue reading ‘Twilight Saga: Eclipse’ continues down the downward spiral — movie review