Category Archives: Movies

‘Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day’ (2009) movie review

Who’s in it?: Sean Patrick Flannery (Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, Suicide Kings), Norman Reedus (Blade: Trinity, Pandorum), Billy Connolly (The X-Files: I Want to Believe, The Last Samurai)

Directed by: Troy Duffy

Now see, this is just the kind of bullshit that pisses me off about Hollywood.  I saw “The Boondock Saints” ten years ago or so and I loved it.  No, it’s not art; it’s not what you’d call a masterpiece.  But it’s funny as hell and has some great shoot outs and a hilarious performance by Willem Dafoe.  It took FOREVER for director Troy Duffy to make this sequel and dammit if he didn’t nearly ruin the the movie he made ten years ago with this unbelievable waste of time.

Seriously, it’s awful.  No, that doesn’t begin to explain it. The movie tries, and fails to duplicate what worked last time — and let’s face it the last one isn’t a masterpiece. This time it just doesn’t work. The main leads are okay, but seem bored and the supporting cast is just terrible. Julie fucking Benz (TV’s Dexter) is awful in this movie. Sadly, all she does is try and duplicate Willem Dafoe’s tactics from the first one and it just sucks.

Then the cameos start and you just wish the world would come to an end like literally you will welcome the end of humanity if it just meant you didn’t have to finish this movie….but fortunately, the movie ended before the world did.

1/10

‘Pandorum’ is a creepy and disturbing sci-fi thriller — movie review

Who’s in it?: Dennis Quaid (Dreamscape, InnerSpace), Ben Foster (30 Days of Night, 3:10 to Yuma)

Whoa.  Ben Foster.  You are a freak.  Seriously man, you scare the hell out of me, which is not an easy task.  I’m not sure that applies to this movie because you are for once, the most normal mother dude in this tripped out freak show of a movie but normally, your presence is enough to make me question everything else that’s going on.

This movie is pretty jacked up though.  Still nothing original, unfortunately.  It’s all of those trapped in space with freaky, gnarly alien monster ghosts all rolled into one.  Not in a bad way but just in the, ‘if you’ve seen one, you’ve see ’em all’ kinda way.  It does have a pretty decent twist towards the end that either I didn’t catch because I’m a retard or just because it was late or a combination of the two. Continue reading ‘Pandorum’ is a creepy and disturbing sci-fi thriller — movie review

‘Surrogates’ (2009) movie review

Who’s in it?: Bruce Willis (TV’s Moonlighting, Die Hard), James Cromwell (Babe, L.A. Confidential), Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction, Mission:Impossible)

Man, oh man…okay, I’m going to try and be nice here because this wasn’t that bad, actually.  Then again, it wasn’t that great either, so I’m not going to hold myself to any promises.

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce….you know you used to be my boy, Bruce.  My hero.  You were David Addison and John Maclane, man, king-bad-ass-smart-ass.  I’m pretty sure the reason I prided myself on being so cock was because I tried very hard to be very Bruno-esque while I was growing up.  But now, the hits have been fewer and farther between for Willis. Continue reading ‘Surrogates’ (2009) movie review