This movie could have been gold, baby.

Robert De Niro? — Check.

Producer Martin Scorcese? — Check.

Director Luc Besson? Che — err, wait, who is that again?

He did “The Fifth Element” — Oh. I see. Ummm….

And “Leon (the Professional)” — oh! Sweet flick. Go on.

Yeah, anyways, that’s all fine and good and this movie could have been awesome — but it’s not. And it’s just as disappointing as you might think. De Niro. Dark comedy. Gangsters. Violence, f-bombs and an R-Rating. But man, it goes nowhere with this promise.

De Niro plays Giovanni, a former mobster turned snitch who is now on the lamb, living in the witness protection program. He has a crazy wife played by Michelle Pfeiffer, an equally crazy but love sick teenage daughter played by Diana Agron, and a scheming son played by John D’Leo. They’re all good here, it’s just the script paints them as uneven characters, and saddles them with ridiculous and time wasting subplots.

Director Luc Besson really wants this to be an homage to the American gangster film with a comic twist. There are some really funny moments, but the story is so empty that its never interesting. Even when Giovanni sits down to write his memoirs, against he wishes of his FBI contact, played by Tommy Lee Jones, a movie that constantly promises there a lot of interesting and crazy things about this family.

We just never get to see it and it all leads to a never fully explained, overly violent and cliched final act.

Continue ready my full movie review of The Family at Examiner.com

Release date: Sept. 13, 2013

Directed by: Luc Besson

Written by: Luc Besson and Michael Caleo

Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pheiffer, Diana Agron, John D’Leo, and Tommy Lee Jones

Theatrical trailer for The Family:

Photos and trailer are property of Columbia Pictures