Reboots and remakes come in all forms. There are good remakes and then there are bad remakes. There are good remakes of bad movies and there are bad remakes of good movies. Then there are movies that have no business being remade and there are movies that are ripe for a remake as long as the right. “Total Recall” falls somewhere in that group. The filmmakers swung for the fences and unfortunately, missed — big time.
In case you’re not a child of the 80’s you may not have seen the original 1991 film that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger. Based on the short story, “We can Remember It for You for Wholesale” by Phillip K. Dick, the updated flick follows Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), a factory worker who is unhappy with his life, despite the fact that he is married to Kate Beckinsale. After a night of drinking, Quaid visits a place called Rekall, which claims to be able to inject new memories into your brain, allowing you to live the life of a celebrity or secret agent, you know, fun stuff like that.
Quaid’s visit quickly goes awry when some government agents raid the place looking for a rebel terrorist known as Hauser — yeah, they think Quaid is Hauser. Wait, is he? Maybe. Quickly Quaid begins to see is life isn’t what he thought. Suddenly his wife is an agent sent to act as a cover wife and keep an eye on him and he finds himself right in the middle of a rebellion against the government.
The first sign that this movie can’t be take seriously is the fact that one of the production company logos that open the film boasts the name, “Original Films”, which this clearly isn’t. But that isn’t the problem. The Arnold version, directed by Paul Verhoeven, is a campy actioneer that dabbles on reality vs. fiction in a fun but mostly silly way. Afther sci-fi has been redefined by movies like “The Matrix” and “Inception”, going back to try and tell this story from a point of view that truly test what is real and what is recall could have been a lot of fun.
Instead, director Len Wiseman, opts for straight up action — and there is plenty of it — the only problem is the characters are so thinly written that there is never a point where you care about any of them. Farrell does his best with what he has to work with but once the plot gets into him trying to figure out who he really is — is he Quaid or is he the mysterious rebel Hauser? — the movie takes a dive. Others don’t offer as much as they should. It’s fun to watch Beckinsale kick some ass but her dialogue is awful. Jessica Biel appears as an ally of Quaid but we are supposed to understand that she and Hauser have a backstory and previous relationship but not only do she and Farrell have zero chemistry, but we don’t even learn her name — it’s Melina by the way — thanks, IMDB.
“Total Recall” is an absolute mess that highlights exactly what is wrong with Hollywood. It is a remake of a movie that lacks its own identity and absolutely refuses to use its imagination. Throw in some awful dialogue throughout a preposterous script and you get one of the flashiest yet empty headed movies of the year.
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“Total Recall” (2012) Theatrical Trailer:
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